Page 2

This is my second page.

It contains my story of faith in Christ:

I was raised in a Christian family, like so many others. While in my father's bible is a date in November of 1997 that is his date I accepted Christ, I struggle with and don't necessarily accept the "moment of salvation" belief that is so common in American protestant Christianity and totally absent almost everywhere else in the world, especially among those who are raised in the faith. The process of my faith becoming my own was just that, a process. At no point did I not believe, but of course as a child I believed only as much as I was capable, and the Holy Spirit has continued to give me greater understanding as He prepared me for it. Foundational moments in my faith would be not just that day in 1997, but also my baptism a year later in Sembach Bible Church. In 1999, a dear family friend who was like a grandfather to me in ways my own grandparents were not, was diagnosed with cancer and while I only ever heard the inspiring stories of those who survived cancer, this man was not going to recover. His faith as he went through what he knew were his last days, and his words to me and my family at this time were also foundational in my understanding of what death was and what eternal life meant. He was a man who was alive more than anyone else I knew, and even more so after his bodily death. In 2005 I was given the opportunity to go to Serbia for a summer with a group of college kids (I was 15) as the nanny for the leaders' children. This was also a major event for me. It was the hardest, loneliest summer of my life, as my parents moved houses while I was gone and I knew I would return to a house I'd never lived in, in a city I'd never even visited, all the while spending the summer with people too old or too young to really be my friends. And yet that summer was dedicated to the work of the Holy Spirit not just in my life, but in the nation of Serbia. I encountered the Holy Spirit not just in a personal way in my own life and reading of scripture but also in the healing of the sick, the multiplication of resources that seemed too small to last, and the growth of the church in a land filled with spiritual darkness and that had abandoned the faith of their fathers in the centuries of onslaught from Islam, Communism, and Secularism. Throughout high school and college, I grew to love my faith and my God in a way that went beyond the coziness and safety of childhood. Through marriage that is at times incredibly difficult and four bouts of postpartum depression that seemed like bottomless pits, I have never had a moment's doubt in God and His goodness (though sometimes I doubted whether He would ever notice me again). Raising children, while not a foundation moment, is definitely a powerful season in my life of understanding God and His love more richly. I have come to treasure ritual and religious practices because of the structure they give to a life that is too easily swallowed up in the mundane and shallow daily existence. When I am overwhelmed by the chaos, the quarrels, and the endless succession of little chores that are parenthood, these rituals become touchstones in my life where I reaffirm my connection to my God, the Church, and the greater spiritual world that surrounds and dominates our lives in an unseen way. The candles, the icons, the recited prayers, and the little feast and fast days support me when my mind and heart are too tossed and turned to be original in my prayers and practices every day. They allow me to lean on God instead of trying to maintain my faith through my own strength, and provide a visual and physical example for my children of a life of faith; not that Mom is perfect, but that she is sustained by a perfect God. They give my children opportunities to participate in the life of the Church and of faith in Christ when they are still learning how to do that themselves. This is my testimony. It is not a story of a moment of change but of a trajectory toward Christ. Every moment, every blessing and trial, is a call to repentance. Every day is a new opportunity to continue in faithfulness no matter how the day before looked.